In Honor of Dex

When someone experiences a life-altering challenge or tragedy, it is not uncommon for them to seek solace in a personal cause. Some are lucky enough to find their inspiration quickly. For others, it may take much longer.

It was three years for me.

I have long searched for a project that spoke to my soul. I wanted something that would honor Dex's memory and give purpose to my grief. I needed a service project that would be as useful to others as it would be cathartic for our family. I preferred something kinda "different" and it had to be something within my skills and abilities.

When my sister's friend Emily showed us what their friend Arah had started, I knew immediately that I had found my answer. My heart told me that there was no turning back.

Micropreemie stillbirth diapers it would be.

I reached out to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center and the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation of Salt Lake, sent them pictures of my plans and asked them if they could use these little diapers. They enthusiastically responded, "we want them YESTERDAY. And could you make us some micropreemie blankets and mats too?"

So this summer, we began another chapter in our healing. At Girls Camp, our Young Women cut and pinned 78 stillbirth micropreemie diapers for local hospitals and my friend Jennie helped me sew them up. My sisters and their families have rolled up their sleeves in Washington and New Mexico to make diapers. My friend Tracy is sewing with her family and YW in Canada. My youngest sister has researched where we can eventually requisition teeny little teddy bears. As a family, we trace, cut, iron, turn, and sew on vacations, weekends, and slow evenings. Kinley's friends have begun asking for diaper-making playdates. I've sewed and worked on this blog, deciding what exactly I want Teeny Tears to be.

Justin never raised an eyebrow when I suddenly transformed our formal sitting area into my sewing headquarters. Anyone who knows my husband understands what a profound declaration of approval that is. He has seen how this project has carried me through the autumn. I have long believed that the phrase "Time Heals All Wounds" is a load of garbage. Time heals absolutely nothing; it's what you do with the time that makes all the difference. When the autumn anxiety nipped at my heartstrings this year, I cranked up all of my "Dex Songs" and immersed myself in cutting, tracing, ironing, pinning, and sewing. I have felt so close to my son as I have worked on this very special birthday present for him. I've enjoyed a peace and stability that has eluded me for three Novembers. When my daughter Kinley gets hit by the November blues, she grabs a stack of diapers to work on; this effort been very healing for our entire family.

So, happy birthday to my darling Dex! Teeny Tears has been created in your memory and your honor. When a grieving family receives a T.T. diaper set or blanket for their little one, we want them to know that someone understands that their son or daughter was special, loved, and that they mattered. Because "a person's a person, no matter how small."

We introduce to you: Teeny Tears.