Clarification

Because of a something someone said to me, I started to wonder if I was unclear in one of my recent posts. That happens sometimes.

When I said "it took a lot of convincing, but I see the need..." I meant (and have now edited) that it took a lot of convincing from my pediatrician. I didn't convince him that Crew needed more intervention; he strong-armed me.

It just goes against my nature to freak out and interfere with Crew's development when I'm not 100% convinced that he is officially "behind". I know for a fact that he's not very behind and if he was, I would be the first one in line sounding the alarms. I've been more of the attitude that he's gentle and mellow and taking his time. So he's not at the front of the charts for his milestones; so what?

My confidence in diagnoses and prognoses was completely shattered by our NICU experience and so many of the insane, unnecessary interventions they tried to pull off, particularly by our OT at Primary's. I never got around to documenting the insanity with that crazy woman, but she has scarred my opinion of occupational therapy pretty irreparably. I now take all opinions with a gigantic bucket of salt and have major trust issues with those that are supposed to help us. I trust our pediatrician a lot more than anyone else, so I'll listen to him... for now, LOL! :)

My experience in the NICU has probably driven me to the opposite extreme, but I endured so many overreactions and misplaced, conflicting reports during those 94 days that I just have no tolerance for that kind of drama now. When some stranger spies an area of mild, potential concern with Crew, my first inclination is to do an internal eye roll and a silent sigh.

And don't even get me started on "specialists". My Primary's OT was an "eating specialist" that wanted to put Crew under general anesthesia and shove a camera down his trachea to investigate this mysterious "stridor" or "wheezing noise" that he did when he ate. You know, the kind of gentle wheezing/grunting that almost all babies do when they eat? I had to raise unholy hell to put a stop to that one, just in the nick of time. Just one of dozens of frustrating events that still raise my hackles when I think about them.

I'm trying to find the proper balance as we negotiate these waters. I (obviously) won't overreact to Crew's nontraditional development, but I don't want to underreact either. I want him to have exactly what he truly needs and I'm willing to go to the moon to get it, but I simply don't have it within me to hang my fears or my peace on the authority of the Hawaii Early Learning Profile. Let's just see how this plays out before we get our panties into a knot, shall we?