I woke up at 2:15 a.m. and couldn't sleep any longer, so I climbed out of bed to look through our memory box of pictures, listen to my Dex songs, read every single word I have ever written about my angel, and have myself a good cry. It was lovely, actually. The process cut through the numbness and denial, which was just what I needed/wanted. It set the tone for a peaceful, content, cheerful day.
I wasn't sure whether I should publicly post the picture of the two of them together in Crew's isolette, but it's one of my favorite pictures and it's one I always linger on when I stroll down memory lane. I have no misgivings or regrets about sharing it, but I've taken it down tonight to return him to relative privacy. Just because. They have the same nose, same profile (they are identical twins, after all). It reminds me just how close we were to having them both in our home and how different life could have, would have been. It also reminds me of just how close we came to losing both of them, and how different life could have, would have been.
In Celebration
We pulled Kinley out of school early to drive down to the cemetery. It was cold and blustery, but Kinley and Tanner would have stayed there all night, given the option. They just love Dex's cemetery and it has clearly been too long since our last visit.
We sang songs to Dex and released two balloons (for his second birthday). Tanner thought releasing balloons was pretty redundant, because Dex still has the ones we sent to Heaven last year. 
Crew yelled and smacked Dex's stone a few times, saying "Happy Birthday" in the best way he knows how.
We came home for a riotous birthday celebration for our little guy!
Crew enjoyed playing with his presents and taking exactly 4 tiny bites of his first donut before crumbling it to use as kitchen cannon fodder.
We planned on watching Toy Story 3, but I was way too tired to keep my eyes open, so we're watching it tonight instead. Extenda-celebration!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET BOYS!!!
I LOVE YOU!
No comments:
Post a Comment