Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I Tried!!

I went to the grocery store today to pick up a few things. In the meat section, I looked up and realized there were two adorable little children in a cart next to me, a boy and a girl looking about the same age, around 2. I asked the mom "are they twins?" She smiled and said yes. I smiled at them and said, "they are super cute" and turned to go.

I was so proud of myself! I didn't walk in the other direction! I didn't ignore them! My heart didn't race, my face didn't flush, my stomach kept all its contents! I felt so liberated that I reached way into the back of my cold black heart and sensed no jealousy whatsoever! I thought, "Yay! I'm back!"


Just as I was turning away from our very brief but satisfying encounter, she rolled her eyes, sighed heavily, and said, "Yeah, and they're a LOT of work."

Heart still racing.
Face still flushed.
Nausea fleeting and manageable.

I tried. Maybe next time I won't try quite so hard.


Cyndi Hendrickson said...

At least you tried... :)

Jodi said...

I completely understand. Boy, it's nice to know that someone out there experiences that feeling too when seeing twins. You might have read on my blog, but the other day. . .a lady opened the door for me and Olivia in her stroller. She said that she'd been there, I smiled, and then she said, "But I had twins if you can imagine that." My heart just broke. Thinking of you!

Texasblu said...

Oh! So hard - kudos for the try. I love this blog - you bring a whole new perspective to the world. Thank you for sharing.