Saturday, November 22, 2008

And Physically, Mama?

Some have asked how I am recovering physically so far. I think the Lord has been merciful to allow me a relatively quick recovery from the dramatic c-section. I'm not on any pain medicine anymore and I don't hurt most of the time. I'm still tired a lot, but I'm not sure if that's still part of the recovery from the c-section, the stress and anxiety of everything that has gone on in the last two weeks, or lack of sleep. My guess is probably a combination. When I get really tired, I tend to cry more often and don't cope as well, so sleep has become a real focus this week. Sleep makes a gigantic difference in my coping skills. It's not always possible, but at least now I'm trying to sleep instead of purposely avoiding it.

I still seem to have difficulty regulating my blood pressure. In high stress situations (like the transport) I have to fight to stay up on my feet. On Friday I made the mistake of locking my knees in defiance to deal with the situation that was unfolding, and ended up with a slightly dramatic light-headedness, similar to that which DeAnna and Justin have been dealing with occasionally for the last week when I've been standing too long. It's much improved from the first week, but apparently under the right conditions I'm still susceptible to a little faintness. Unfortunately, it's so embarassing when it happens in front of 12-15 hospital staff and half of Justin's family. But hey, free juice, right?

I've since been able to nervously laugh over that part of the experience. I just remember feeling a little foggy and instead of fighting it, it just seemed like a really nice place to check out for a minute. It was like my head was saying "Gooooooo to the light! Take a break! Find your happy place in unconsciousness!" Alas, Justin and DeAanna yanked me out of it before I could fully embrace it. Meanies... Then the doctors made DeAnna follow me around to make sure I didn't get shaky again. Poor DeAnna, who knows me best and knew that I needed (significant) space, had the most guilty look on her face as she followed her charge, Megan the pacing tiger, way too close for comfort.

Tanner is getting grumpy about me not being able to pick him up, and he's confused because sometimes I'll drag him onto my lap from just the right angle, but it's not the same as lifting him up onto the bed or carrying him around, and he's bewildered at the difference. He's spending a lot of time in my arms when I'm home, draped fully around me, even when Cars may be playing in another room. That's love and adoration. I think he misses me or something.

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