"Bazha Cleanse"

This isn't so much irritating as it was highly amusing. But it's a perfect example of the kind of conversations I have almost daily:

Wound: Hi, my name is so-and-so. I'm from the Wound Care and Stoma Team and I'm here to check on Crew's stoma.

Megan: Crew doesn't have a stoma anymore. He's already had his take-down.

Wound: Really? When did he have his take-down?

Megan (smiling sweetly): Just over 2 weeks ago.

Wound: Oh, that's so wonderful. How is he doing with it?

Megan: Fantastic, we're so thrilled.

Wound: Have you been using the bazha (sp?) cleanse on his bum?

Megan: Um... no, I don't think so. What is that? A diaper cream?

Wound: It's a spray on cleanser with a moisture barrier? It's used instead of wipes?

Megan: No, we haven't needed anything actually. His bum has looked perfect.

Wound: Oh, you must use a bazha cleanse with every single diaper change as well as a barrier cream! His bum isn't used to stooling, so it's very very sensitive. It's kind of a process, but it's very important.

Megan: How long should we use the cleanse and cream?

Wound: I'd say at least the first two weeks after surgery.

Megan: Ah.

Wound: I'll run and go get you some!

Crew's nurse and I giggled and shook our heads after she left. I didn't want to hurt the wound team lady's feelings and I'm always game for free stuff to try when we get home, should we ever need it. Once the wound team lady dropped off her magic, vital-for-the-first-two-weeks cleanse and cream, my nurse dropped it directly into my take-home pile.

Am I living in the Twilight Zone? I couldn't make this stuff up, people!