He's Home

He's home and it's so nice to have him here. It feels so natural, so normal, so peaceful to have him around. He is getting used to his new surroundings, different sights, sounds, and smells, etc. We discovered late last night that he had thrush, which explained some of his unexpected tantrums and difficulty eating throughout the first few days.

Sleeping
The first night home, he was awake for much of the night wanting to play, and was even a little (gasp) fussy. I guess after 3 months he still has his days and nights a little mixed up. We have gussied up a contoured changing pad to simulate his snug bed at the hospital, but that first night he wasn't having any of it. He didn't want to be in his "bed", in the bouncer, or the swing. He would only sleep if he was snuggled up on the couch with me, stuffed firmly in the crook of my arm. He was generous enough to let me swap arms once in a while. I got about 3 hours of not-very-restful sleep on Wednesday night.

I was just so happy to have him home that I let him whine all he wanted. We paced, we bounced, we jiggled, we shushed. I hope I can always have the same patience with him on future rough nights. There are worse things than having a baby keeping you up all night: for example, NOT having a baby keeping you up all night. When I get tired and start wishing he would just settle down and let me sleep, I think about how I would give anything to be able to be up all night with both of my boys. Then I try to find the extra patience I would have needed for Dex in the middle of the night and I offer it to Crew.

That being said, my mother-in-law is still in town and she gave me quite a respite last night. I passed out on the couch and she held him from 1-6 this morning in the rocker. He wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be put down.

Eating
He was a little difficult to feed sometimes on Wednesday, through the night, and then progressively got worse throughout Thursday. He was starving on Thursday night but wouldn't take a bottle at all. I finally spotted the thrush in his mouth and everything started making sense. Well, he wasn't about to be rehospitalized with dehydration on my watch, so my MIL and I spent almost an hour feeding him with a medicine dropper while he screamed his head off. Justin gave him a blessing and we swabbed his mouth down with some diluted apple cider vinegar. We dug in for a difficult night until we could get to the pediatrician's office this morning, but he ended up doing much better after that. He took the rest of his feeds thoughout the night with a bottle and there was no sign of thrush this morning.

Feeding him remains difficult sometimes. At this point I'm just not sure how much of his difficulty has been from the thrush and how much is his inexperience with eating. He's very new at this, you know! So am I, for that matter! Some feedings are a breeze and others are more of a struggle. Fortunately, he continues to eat well above the minimum recommended amount. "Full feeds" for him would be about 330 cc's per day. Yesterday he ate 470.

Doctor
We had our first of many appointments with the pediatrician this morning. We received excellent news on his weight! He is now 4 pounds, 15 ounces, or 2240 grams. He was 2110 when we left, or 4 pounds and 10 ounces. I realize that there may be a slight discrepancy between the scales, but an entire 5 ounces cannot be dismissed!! Yay!! Hallelujah! Now I won't worry so much about those mucho full poopy diapers and I won't be unduly panicked about the calories he burns when he cries. He is gaining weight!

We did have to take him to the lab to get some tests done on his bilirubin. The doctor noticed that his skin looks a little green, indicating some liver imbalances caused by such a long time on the TPN (artificial nutrition). I don't have the results back yet, but from what I understand from previous conversations in the hospital, it should resolve over time without treatment.

The Kids
Kinley and Tanner love having him home. They love exercise time. After I do Crew's stretches, they lay down on their own blankets and have me stretch them the same way. Tanner keeps offering Crew his sacrosanct Lightning McQueen, which is a high honor for Crew, if he only knew it. Tanner rubs Crew's head when he's eating, which seems to make Crew (and Tanner) very happy. I don't know what kind of sibling rivalry may rear its head in the future, but so far Tanner is completely in love with this new little addition. And as far as being jealous, I think Tanner is finding already that Mommy is home a lot more now that Crew is out of the hospital and that I'm not such a headcase all the time. He seems to think this is a good deal. Tonight before bed he asked if Dex was also going to be coming home. Don't I wish.

After three days, Kinley seems to be having less anxiety. She hasn't wanted to go to bed or go to school, for fear that Crew will go back to the hospital while she's gone. She keeps asking for reassurance that both Crew and I will be here when she returns. When he was crying so hard with thrush and wouldn't eat, she asked if he was going to die. Man, there are some mine fields that I just can't anticipate.

I'm so happy. I love having as much of our family as possible finally under one roof. Having a newborn at home will have its challenges, to be sure, but frankly, I'm ready for a different kind difficult.