Monday, December 15, 2008

Gift From God

Hanging on the wall of the NICU in our local hospital is a painting called "Gift from God" by Derek Hegsted. It depicts the Savior holding a very tiny baby in his hands, looking at the baby with such love, such compassion for this child and, in my opinion, for the parents of this child. I spent many long moments lingering at this painting during my stay at the hospital, many times in the middle of the night. Every time I looked at it, I really felt that the Savior truly understood the pain I felt over losing Dex. Justin spent time staring at this painting as well, though we never did it together and never discussed it with one another. It was a source of personal, private peace and strength to both of us.

Apparently Justin's family noticed our fascination with this painting and realized the importance of its message to us during this unexpected and difficult journey. His family combined their resources and their love to provide us with our own painting to hang in our home to remind us of the Savior's love for us and for our children.

They presented it to us on Thanksgiving, but the framing was finished this week. Danny and Mardie delivered it to us yesterday, just as we were in our frantic preparations to get up to the hospital. It couldn't have come at a better time. While I have always previously considered it a representation of Dex, yesterday I was reminded that the Lord is mindful of Crew's struggles and he is every bit as much in the Lord's care as Dex is. And while I'm at it, I know that he is watching over Kinley and Tanner as well, helping them to be strong and resilient while we continue to fight alongside Crew.

And I certainly can't deny that He has been supporting the parents of these great kids. We have felt His love, His peace, His generosity, His compassion, His strength, and His understanding. We have been greatly blessed in this adversity. We'll survive this and we'll be stronger, happier, and more grateful in the end. I really believe that. I love my family.


Anonymous said...

Everything you have said in the last few posts are normal for sure! You can't possibly be "normal" when you have a baby going through what your lil guy is and the loss of his brother. All you can do is your best and I bet everyone is shocked at how well you are handling it.

I had my lil guy in the hospital at 4 mos and was told he had a tumor in his stomach and that is why he wouldn't eat. This was diagnosed 4 days after beiong admitted to the hospital and after he has eaten no milk, water etc for 7 full days. I was by myself with him because DH was away on business he just couldn't cancel and I had a complete breakdown. I actually saw the funeral for my beloved baby playing in my mind. So, two days later they come back after more tests and say that he doesn't have a tumor and it must just be a very serious stomach bug. He stayed for 6 more days and was on a intravenous food plan. He lost 25% of his body weight but he was fine! I was so glad that they were wrong that I couldn't even be mad that they had told me they couldn't do anything to stop a tumor and that we would essentially be waiting for him to wither away. I don't know if truly I will ever completely forgive them.

He was back again at 6 mos and it was determined that he has a blood disorder but thankfully he is 3 and a half now and doing super.

I am so hopeful for you that Crew will be just like my little guy. I hope he will have had a hard start but then become a strong and happy little man!


Brooke said...

That is so beautiful. I have a picture of a baby with Jesus that I just love. It is so comforting. I pray for you and your little boys. Your posts are just beautiful.

Vera said...

That was a beautiful and thoughtful gift.

Natalie said...

I came across this blog when I went to check on your Scrap blog to see if there had been any updates. I've read through each and every post and have cried along the way.

I had twins (boy/girl)last year that were born 5 weeks early and were in the NICU for 2 weeks. Even though their situation wasn't as tough as yours, I understand the frustration of information not being recorded or passed along to those who should be in the know, and how it hurts to leave your baby every time you visit. I know that you must feel this many times more than I since Crew's journey will take more time. I will keep him in my prayers that he will continue to make great progress.

I am not very good at expressing what I want to say, but I just wanted to let you know that your story has touched my heart. My prayers are with you, Crew, and your family that all will be well.

Scrapping Mom of 5 said...

That is such a beautiful and comforting painting. I'm so glad you are able to have your own copy.

Kristen said...

I discovered your scrapping blog months ago and loved your templates. That blog of course led me to this one and I have been following your story faithfully.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Dex, but I am so thankful you still have Crew--and he seems to be fighter! Our second son was born in June and died a day later due to complications at birth. I happened to come across a picture of the Savior holding an infant on another blog and it touched me the same way your painting touched you. The painting I saw was called "In the Arms of His Love" by Del Parsons, and we now have it hanging in our home. Our faith and testimonies of the gospel truly helped us get through a very sad and trying time. I know Heavenly Father is with you and your family every step of the way on this journey.

My prayers are with you.